Journal Entry- 11/28/2023

Today, I am 20 feet tall. Confident as fuck. I stand with my head in the clouds. A woman dreaming. About Love. About Freedom. About Safety. About Breath. The essentials. I look around at my skyscraper siblings - trees. We breathe together. Share a collective sting at the bitter, cold wind filling us. I turn my head down to find my shadow. Such a presence. She is. As I am. It would be a lie if I said she didn't scare me at first. She's a lot to take in. The more I look at her, the more I see myself and realize we are actually the same size. She is no more difficult of a pill to swallow than I am. Our soles bonded.

I took a deep belly breath. Exhaled as slowly as possible. Every second clinging to the high from breathing. I remembered how beautiful it is to be connected to everything. How painful it is to be connected to everything. My mind went to Palestine and the collective pain and grief of a peoples physically, psychically, and spiritually wounded at the hands of colonization. How lasting the effects of this is. I am silly with rage. And full of disgust at the sadomasochistic systems and logics of white supremacy. How fucking insidious and void of humanity this way of existing is. I stared at the sun striking the sidewalk. Found freedom in its beauty. Appreciating the mundane. This is the only way I know how to survive this world.